Understanding Big Emotions When Reactions Feel Too Strong

“He gets upset so fast.”

You’ve probably seen it happen:

The pencil breaks.

The plan changes.

A tiny moment shifts. And suddenly the reaction feels huge.

When emotions explode that quickly, it’s almost never about the pencil or the plan. It’s about what’s happening underneath. Many kids and adults feel emotions intensely but haven’t yet learned how to recognize what they’re feeling or understand what those emotions are trying to say.

For some, frustration shows up as anger.

For others, disappointment feels like the end of the world.

And for many, once the emotional wave starts rising, they don’t know how to slow it down.

This is where understanding big emotions becomes life-changing.

When someone learns how to pause — even for one second — and label what’s happening inside:

“I’m frustrated.”

“I’m embarrassed.”

“I’m overwhelmed.”

the storm softens.

Not because the emotion disappears, but because it finally makes sense.

The goal isn’t to stop big emotions.

It’s to help them feel human, understandable, and manageable.

If you or someone you love often feels swallowed by emotions that get “too big,” learning to connect with those feelings is the first step toward feeling in control instead of powerless. Big emotions aren’t the problem. Misunderstanding them is.

A simple takeaway:

When the explosion happens, try asking:

“Is this frustration… or is this disappointment?”

Naming the feeling gives the brain something to hold onto — and the waves settle faster.